Eventually we'll talk. I have very few friends but the ones I have always come back from things like this.
If they can't, so be it. It means they are not invested in the relationship, and that doesn't meet my criteria for friendship.
Doors that close now open later. If years go by and they come back, so be it. Then we'll talk.
I would buy a house with a workshop and walls of drawers so everything would be in its place.
I would buy a white 1991 Toyota Camry with a sun and moon roof
I would start my own foundation to make the money I donate into more money so that I could fund charities for people like me (as well as others with hidden disabilities). I would also donate to organizations that could prove that operating costs were lower than funds distributed.
I would take half the money at once to fund the above, and the rest in installments
1/2 tsp vanilla
11ml (3/4 tbsp) coconut oil
1.5 tbsp coconut flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
pinch salt (opt)
mix wet ingredients and puree
add coconut flour and mix well
add baking powder and mix until combined - just like pancakes, don't overmix
divide batter in two and place in ramekins or coffee mugs
microwave each one for 90 seconds
Notes: the coconut flour both gives structure an dries out the muffin. Without the flour the muffin will be moist and floppy. You could try nuking them for less time or putting in less coconut flour. For some reason, more coconut flour made them quite spongy. I am planning on trying 1 tablespoon of coconut flour on the next iteration.
I started with the paleo plaintain pancake recipe by paleomom. I decided to beef up the structure with coconut flour. 1/4 the recipe with a half ripe plantain. Consistency of batter - good. Used a heavy large ramekin for it, and it came out better than the first effort which was done in a mug. Still had the texture of a wet washcloth. So I added a tablespoon of coconut flour to the remaining 2/3 of the mix and tried again. Mixed poorly because the baking soda was already going flat.
Beautiful color, but very dry, Not crumbly and looked like a muffin. Cool! But also very heavy.
So I dumped in another 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda. The ramekin was still hot so I waited a minute or so. 90 seconds in the microwave and time for the taste test.
Now I have somethings on which to inflict my butter. Good thing, because my numbers are up and I will be going on the AIP.
The bottom line:
All the muffins were spongy but with nice soft texture. The last one looked most like a muffin. I would not buy or eat the muffin made from just plantain. But the second coconut flour muffin was awesome. Not grainy, not dry, just a little spongy in texture. See for yourself. Pics are on a round cast iron griddle.
Top left is plantain only, top right is plantain with coconut flour. Bottom is the same mix as upper right but with 1/4 tsp baking powder added and resting time. THe plaintain only is a little overcooked, I think. Not sure why the light areas are there. All three were cooked for 90 seconds in a 10cm diameter ramekin with 0.5 cm thick sides. The ramekin was warm for the coconut flour versions.
This first ugly guy was made in a greasy spoon diner coffee mug with just the plantain mix.
Seems like I say that a lot these days. Just getting into the role, maybe? Argh. Me paleo guy. Eat meat. Meat awful so eat offal.
OK, that was bad.
But the truth is I hate the texture of meat so skin, fat, blood and tendons are great to me. But that is another story.
I am trying to wrap my brain around fermented stuff. I've drunk kombucha before, and I love sauerkraut. Never liked beer or wine, though I can manage port if I put mulling spices or herbs in it.
Apparently there are good sources of bacteria in fermented stuff - probiotics. There are even probiotics in dirt. Yeah, no. With my luck I'll eat a spider and blow up like a balloon. But since tofu, which is fermented, is from beans, I can't have that? And I can't have natto, which is supposed to be one of the best sources of vitamin K? No fair.
I have tried ginger beer today. Argh. It's hot. At least this stuff, Fentiman's ginger beer, is. And then I read the label.
WTH is fermented ginger extract? This was combined with carbonated water to make the drink. No wonder it was hot. This stuff also had juniper, yarrow and something I've never heard of before - speedwell. Luckily it was on sale at Sacks, the local liquidators - not quite the loss a bottle of kombucha would be. My favorite kombucha costs $3.79 for a 16 ounce bottle. The nice thing about it is that since I have so little tolerance for alcohol, it gets me mildly intoxicated. Just enough to say, "Oh, that's nice." Not enough to impair driving.
BTW, speedwell is supposed to be good for things. Supposedly it has a taste like watercress. It's also a weed, and I suspect we have some growing in the lawn put in by the guys who destroyed our driveway while putting in a new water system.
Between the fermented stuff (about 2 bottles of kombucha a week) and daily double doses of probiotics in pill form, I think things actually are getting better. I use accuflora because it was on sale, I tried it and it made a difference. It put Monty to sleep. Unfortunately shopping at Sacks means I'll have to get more online. No clue which store it came from. I got some fancy refrigerated stuff from Hoover's and I couldn't tell other than feeling a little ill.
At any rate, between the probiotics, aloe vera juice and the DGL, it seems like something is making a difference. I ate candy yesterday and there were limited ill effects, and today I fed Monty a GF bagel and he loved it but then went back to sleep in less than 12 hours. Normally he's up all night and half of the next day. My weight has stabilized. No change today.
I made curry soup on Thursday and left it in the crock pot, on and adding things like tendon and coconut milk - the kind in the carton, not the can. The stuff in the carton I froze into cubes and am using in the soup. They don't add crap to the stuff in the carton, which can be had organic. The curry paste is a violation, but Monty ignored it. There was half a pork chop in there and initially some bones, but I took the bones out and most of the pork is eaten. The only bad thing about tendon is that it's glue. That only happens if you cook it until it's near dissolving. The texture I like best is slightly harder than that. I used kitchen scissors to cut it and forgot to rinse them - they were stuck tight and had to be soaked for hours to get them apart. Glued some paper and the layers separated when we tried the bond. I'm going to try wood next.
I put in
a heaping teaspoon of curry paste (results in very spicy)
12 ouces of coconut water
1/2 cup frozen peppers and onion mix (yup, being lazy)
1 pork chop (or half a large one)
I simmered the peppers and onions and curry paste for a few minutes on high
Then I added the coconut water, bones and part of the pork chop that was attached.
Turned it down and left it for about 4 hours.
Took out the bones and added the other part of the pork chop (it was cooked already)
Ate some two hours later.
Added water and some fresh onions and left it overnight
Added tendons (also already cooked with onions and shitake mushrooms)
Ate some more.
Added a half teaspoon curry paste, coconut milk and tendons (as above)
I'm leaving on low while I sleep and will have it for breakfast tomorrow, along with another cheat - liverwurst.
Took some 5-HTP in service of restoring my sleep cycle. I wonder if I will sleep 6 hours like the first time?
And yet, last night, wandering in angst and legitimate anxiety, I could not find a shirt to wear. I had been wearing 2XLs because I like a lot of room. XLs fit and I could not button my Ls. The shirts in my closet are all Ls from when I first moved here. I pulled down something that was on a hook by the door. It was a little tight, I was stunned. These days shirts can be as unreliable as women's clothing and this one was no exception. It's more like a medium.
I got down my real "L" from the hook behind the door. It fits. When the heck did that happen? There has been no appreciable weight loss. While it's true that I have not been up to my scary weight, I haven't been anywhere near my target (I'm off by 10 pounds).
I do have an exercise program - I call it "start with 10" I started with 10 situps every day. I miss some days but most days I remember. I am up to 25, where I decided to stop. I want to add something else for a count of ten, but I haven't decided yet. So situps are all I'm doing. Nothing different otherwise.
So what the heck? The scale shows a loss of a few pounds (and not dehydrated) but again nothing different. Pants might be a microscopic amount smaller. I don't have to tuck when I button, but I think that's the situps.
I'm not sure if anything is making a difference. Monty's TMI (if you must know, search Bristol chart and don't click the one with candy bars, or if you're brave add the word "cake to the search :P) has been between 3 and 7, which is really nice. It used to be 7 and up all night trying to close the floodgates. There were also stomach aches and all kinds of intestinal pain. Those are gone. I suspect that the paleo approach has liberated some hidden gluten from my diet,
Some brain fog is better too. I was worried that something was seriously wrong, but I think the corn cleared that up. The corn test will come at the end of the month, then I will know for sure.
I guess I should say more about my protocol, which now includes the world's most horrible supplement, DGL. I'd eat natto first. But it's supposed to help heal my gut, so I have been trying to get up to twice a day whilst telling myself that it's only temporary.
But that is another story. Today I will be happy because sometihng is working.
I've been trying to have more alkaline foods and drinks and haven't bought any alkaline water because I haven't really researched it. I thought, well, seltzer must be high ph because I want it to be, right?
Argh again. Carbonic acid, formed by the carbonation process. Argh. Argh. Argh. Even seltzer is acidic. Perrier water. one of my favorites, came out at 5.5, which means it has the potential to whack both my teeth and my body.
Good thing I've been using high mineral salt. But this means going back to plain water, which I can't stand. I do have some minerals that I can put in, but no more fast "soda."
According to most reports I've read, the lemon juice I've been drinking (plain, undiluted, organic) has an alkalizing effect. I saw one report that suggested that acidic drinks are related to weight gain.
Ah, well, at least there is Dasani.
Found out today that Monty likes meat but not grapes. Grapes are in season.
I'm going to dig out my test strips and see how bad the seltzer is that I have been drinking. I bought these test strips last year. No expiration date. I might better get some new ones.
Not bad, but it's a bottle that's been open all day. The strip is actually greenish yellow, which means maybe 6.5. My lemonade turned the strip bright red, as it should. My saliva test was the same color as the water, meaning slightly acidic.
That could be all the chocolate I ate tonight. Before paleo I had no interest. The good news is that it's one of only two cheats left on the diet. The other one is peppermints. Both are for emotional support. Rescue Remedy just isn't cutting it.
Tomorrow is another Day One. Got to find some good snacks. I might try pretzels. The pork chops with sweet potato starch subbed for tapioca were decent. I also have acord starch and poi powder. I might try pretzels.
Most microwave breads are some variant of flour, oil, egg and baking powder. Mine added coconut flour and applesauce.
Verdict? Tolerable if Desperate. Does not taste like bread or have the texture of bread or muffins. It does look good, and if that is your dominant experience, this is a good bread to try.
Almond flour is grainy and dry, and not at all the same texture of cornmeal, which is the closest texture I could think of when I tasted this bread.
Mine took 2.5 minutes in the microwave. I'm relatively certain that it is 900 watts and it has a turntable.
You're supposed to put in the dry ingredients, then the egg and then the oil. I put the oil in before the egg. I used softened butter for my oil. I used one of those thick french glasses to put it in the microwave.
PK said it tasted a little like a scone but without the crisp outside. I think it tasted like an almond cookie left out in the rain. It was more tolerable with butter and had better texture when it cooled, but it was still like chewing almond meal.
I'm going to try this with nicer flours and see if it's better. I think if coconut flour is the main flour it will be better. I also have acorn flour to try. If I get really ambitious I'll grind up some bones to make my bread - when they are done from bone broth, they crumble nicely into a light powder.